Please note that I’m not an expert. I do speak with some experience, however. Being a wedding photographer, and DJ, I have seen the lot of grooms. I’ve seen the selfish, the drunk, and the one’s after their new father-in-law’s fortune. In all the weddings I have been to, I’ve learned a lot about the groom’s role.
1. It’s not just her day
People say that it is her day. It’s not. It’s the day that you get to take the opportunity to show her your leadership and love. Be involved. Help with colors, styles, place settings, invitations, and be there to support her. The moment you get on your knee a sense of relief sets in for you–but for her she gets to planning the most important event that she will ever plan. Support her in all her decisions, but be a leader and enable her to sense control in your loving intentions.
2. Not the most important day, but the most important event
This may not be the most important day in your new lives together, but it is certainly the most important event that the two of you will ever plan. While it is good to remember that all you need is a pastor, two witnesses, and the two of you–she will not be happy if you treat it as that is all that is needed. Embrace the event, and not the day. Enable her to know you are willing to invest in the event and let her see that you know it is important to you.
3. Support through leading.
She might be in charge of the dresses, colors, and everything else–but your job is to lead in the midst of all of it. Have opinions and let her know that you would like a say in things. It’s not about getting what you want, but it’s about sharing in the process–plus if you help select the centerpieces, you’ll feel invested in them and ensure they are as the two of you want on the day. Just be sure that you’re not compromising on anything but releasing your desires out of love. If she wants Starbucks green and you’re wanting royal blue–giving her what she wants can be done out of love and then you’ll truly embrace the Starbucks green and enjoy it just as much as she will.
I’ll be learning so much more about this process in the coming months. From my experience, these are some of the highlights from the weddings that I have seen grooms botch. Here is my post on her blog about some groomly fashion as well. Enjoy!