The Groom’s Role

Screen Shot 2013-05-17 at 3.40.52 PMPlease note that I’m not an expert. I do speak with some experience, however. Being a wedding photographer, and DJ, I have seen the lot of grooms. I’ve seen the selfish, the drunk, and the one’s after their new father-in-law’s fortune. In all the weddings I have been to, I’ve learned a lot about the groom’s role.

1. It’s not just her day

People say that it is her day. It’s not. It’s the day that you get to take the opportunity to show her your leadership and love. Be involved. Help with colors, styles, place settings, invitations, and be there to support her. The moment you get on your knee a sense of relief sets in for you–but for her she gets to planning the most important event that she will ever plan. Support her in all her decisions, but be a leader and enable her to sense control in your loving intentions.

2. Not the most important day, but the most important event

This may not be the most important day in your new lives together, but it is certainly the most important event that the two of you will ever plan. While it is good to remember that all you need is a pastor, two witnesses, and the two of you–she will not be happy if you treat it as that is all that is needed. Embrace the event, and not the day. Enable her to know you are willing to invest in the event and let her see that you know it is important to you.

3. Support through leading.

She might be in charge of the dresses, colors, and everything else–but your job is to lead in the midst of all of it. Have opinions and let her know that you would like a say in things. It’s not about getting what you want, but it’s about sharing in the process–plus if you help select the centerpieces, you’ll feel invested in them and ensure they are as the two of you want on the day. Just be sure that you’re not compromising on anything but releasing your desires out of love. If she wants Starbucks green and you’re wanting royal blue–giving her what she wants can be done out of love and then you’ll truly embrace the Starbucks green and enjoy it just as much as she will.

I’ll be learning so much more about this process in the coming months. From my experience, these are some of the highlights from the weddings that I have seen grooms botch. Here is my post on her blog about some groomly fashion as well. Enjoy!

Thoughts: A Jealous God

I was reading in James 4 this morning (how’s that for a line to ensure a deep conversation?). It was a challenge that I gave to my girlfriend fiancé this week to read James 4 and have been having a smashing time doing it as well. As I was reading this morning I was struck by James 4:5 and how God is jealous for us. Image

“…he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” – James 4:5 MSG

What if there was a gentleman making passes at Allison? Or what if there was a project at work that seemed more important than I? I paused as this though process evolved. I love Allison so much that I would be fiercely jealous of anyone or anything that tried to captivate take her from me–yet I do this to God everyday. I let my work cause me to shorten prayers, the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy to take precedence over diving further into God’s desires for my life, and the list goes on. Putting myself in the place of a jealous lover really showed me that I need to step-up my life for Him. Do you need to let His jealous love inspire you to engage more with Him?

…think about it… He’s jealous for your time.

The Informed Gentleman

My girlfriend fiancé, the awesome blogger over at A God Fashioned Life, has been having me post on Fridays. While I haven’t been posting here regularly, I thought I’d get a jump back into this blog with a carbon-copy of one of my posts over there. Enjoy

Thesis: An informed man can better engage in relationship building than those less informed.

If you know me well, you will know that I am big on building relationships [see blog entry here]. While I’m an introvert by flesh, I purpose to cultivate healthy connections with others. Friends or strangers, I strongly believe that life is about engaging beyond one’s self. Whether you are a follower of God or not, there is very little arguing that can come from this fact. We all desire relationships.

Learn something that doesn’t interest you.

the informed gentleman

I don’t like sports very much. I’ve enjoyed playing baseball but keeping up with a sport from afar has never interested me at all. “Why does it matter?” is what I think. I understand that that is not true for many people. Many times, though, I find myself on the sidelines of a conversation about sports and am completely at a loss to contribute so I recede to the stands and watch. [sports metaphor?] What if I had something to say, though? What if I could at least comment on some of the names that they were talking about? Would I be able to build a new relationship? Find a new friend? Especially men, we don’t form friendships over conversation. We form our strongest relationships over life. Don’t let your lack of interest be a barrier to new relationships. Who knows, maybe you even find a new hobby.

There is more to this world than you.

Sometimes I forget to grasp the reality of the size of our globe or what several billion people actually is. In fact, most times I’m completely oblivious. It’s hard to realize this if we don’t know 1. what else is out there. and 2. what else is going on. My mum would always challenge me to learn my geography so that if I meet someone not from my hometown I could relate to them on their level. Not only that, but knowing what is going on around our world enables me to engage in conversation that meets them where they are. I know too-many times I make the conversation about my surroundings; what if we challenged ourselves to engage with someone else’s surroundings?

We are doomed to repeat history if we don’t know it.

Our ancestors made a lot of mistakes. A lot of them. Are you making the same mistakes? How would you even know? Grab a biography of someone from different centuries and engage in a history lesson that is sure to enlighten you on your own path in life.

Being an informed citizen of this earth is important. It helps break down our selfishness and helps build stronger relationships. So why not grab an international newspaper and give it a try. Meet someone where they are.

Follow Up: All I can do is Pray

All I can do is prayA little bit ago, I posted about how God loves it when we pray and how He moves through our prayers. I was at my parents house last night and saw a family picture post-cast from my broken leg. It’s pretty evident that one leg is shorter than the other (my left was shorter). As was said in All I can do is Pray, God worked through my leg’s healing. You can read the full story in that post. Now, I have no limp, and can’t wait for next week when our church is having a week of prayer and fasting. If God can grow my leg out and amaze doctors, then He can do amazing things in our church. He has a plan, and just wants us to ask Him to have it fulfilled.

A family picture of after I got out of my cast showing my leg length difference.

A family picture of after I got out of my cast showing my leg length difference.

So, next week I’ll be praying with a renewed faith that God can do miracles. What are you praying for?

A Day In the Life, A Morning without Power

no powerSnow fell quickly as I was driving to work the other morning. The time was 3:50. I gave myself an extra few minutes to get to work being that I might see some ice and didn’t want to arrive late. As I drove under HWY 99 on HWY 20 where they merge on Santiam Highway, I had such a surreal moment that even now it both haunts and amazes me. Black. Albany was black. I switched on my high beams to be able to see a little bit better through the snow filled streets. A worried thought crept into my thoughts. “Our store!”. Starbucks without power is like businessman without their smartphone–not able to do much.

As I pulled into the snow covered parking lot of our store, I paused in my heated car and pulled out my phone to iMessage my shift supervisor with the news. “There’s no power at the store.” was the text that greeted her as she pulled up next to me. 4:15, and the only thing we were able to gather from one of the Fred Meyer freight slingers who was taking a break out in the bitter cold was that the power had been hour since 3:00 and wasn’t anticipated to be back on till 6:30.

My shift and I unlocked the store and were met with a waft of cold air. We walked into the back-room, our iPhones and my iPad lighting the way, and the phone rang. Our Support Center was calling to see if we had some bad weather. After some quick calls to our manager and district manager, we got our direction: save product. We iced down some milks and our breakfast sandwiches, and checked the temperatures on some of our other product. Our fridges were doing their jobs and doing them well. Good sign.

Braving the cold with headlight and jackets.

Braving the cold with headlight and jackets.

Next, by iPhone and iPad light, we put the pastry case out and got a trash run ready. At that point our manager decided that since the store was becoming almost uninhabitable with the cold that it was time to get warm. Oddly enough, the power was back on just across the street from us but not on our side. Our manager pulled in and we pilled in her car to go Cork’s Donuts on the other side of the road and keep warm while keeping an eye on our store.

Mornings like this are a lot fun. Granted, I’m not asking for them all the time, but it’s like getting snowed in with your best friends. We laughed and joked enjoying each other’s company as we waited for the power to come back on. It was a real family growing moment. Our store isn’t special, though. It’s a culture at Starbucks that family moments like this happen. It’s what enables me to fully believe that it’s not about the coffee–it’s about so much more.

#tobeapartner

From Customer to Partner: A Romance

source: starbucks.com/brand

source: starbucks.com/brand

I pulled my coat tighter as I hurried to the doors of the Starbucks on the corner of 4th and Madison. I walked in as I did every morning and the presence of something great hit me as it always did. It wasn’t something I thought of much before my late teens, but this was a little piece of home for me.

Starbucks works to create a “third place” environment. A place that isn’t work, and isn’t one’s home. I think there is a lot more to Starbucks than just being a third place. It’s a gateway to so much more. A gateway to news, friendships, and warmth. It’s not temperature type of warmth. It’s what we at Starbucks like to call the “warm and fuzzys”. Something one can’t explain.

Working at Starbucks has engrained in me a new sense of community. It’s about so much more than the coffee–and that’s said numerous times throughout the company. The brand that it has created is a powerful brand. One that partners can feel as we become like family, and our customers our close friends. I can’t wait for my customers to come in and spend time with them. They care about me and I care about them. It’s so much more than the coffee.

As I’ve grown with the company, I’ve felt a rekindling of the romance that I had for the company when I was a teenager as I spent many of my afternoons at Starbucks working on homework or writing a poem. Starbucks is much more than an employer–it’s a catalyst to a new way of living. One that enables me to step beyond myself and engage, genuinely engage, with my friends and family at 4:30 in the morning.

#tobeapartner